Remember when former President Jimmy Carter shocked the nation by confessing that, in his heart, he had lusted after another woman - OTHER THAN HIS WIFE? Well, don’t hold your breath for something that juicy here. Basically, my heart is harboring - bitchy complaints. That’s right - I’m pissed. About stupid stuff. I mean, I have my fair share of blazing anger about huge injustices - the senseless heartbreaking bullshit that is the War in Iraq, the ineptitude of our nation at present, deranged X-dates who call me at 12:30 AM the next day as if I don’t have EVERYTHING better to do than talk to someone who thinks that is OK. But, it’s the little things that are bugging me today. To wit:
I don’t know about the rest of you, but I am sick of slithering into a pair of jeans in a dressing room, turning around, and losing all respect for myself. I do not need my jeans to make up curves - I am a woman, I brought mine with me! They’re right here in my pocket! And furthermore, my ass crack is not the “new cleavage” anymore than my raven tresses are the “new blond”. My hair is brown, dammit - and I’m happy with brown. It doesn’t need to pretend to be blond, literally or metaphorically. And my ass crack does not have any pretensions to décolletage. It may be as cute as the downy babe’s, but frankly - that’s not something I share with fellow passengers on the Metro.
And that’s another thing. I like riding the bus. No, I’m not scared of the “weirdoes”. I AM A WEIRDO! I like the bus, dammit, and I do not appreciate smarmy insinuations from people who have never set foot on public transportation about how all us white folk are somehow offended by public transportation. Public transportation is offended by sheltered morons.
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