viragette

Easter.

Well, if my sources are correct, this is the part where Jesus “rose from the dead, danced around, then went up to heaven.” Way cool. Now if only we could liberate him from the God of War that is currently holding him hostage.

My charming landlady told me a story about a multinational, remedial French class. They were asked to explain Easter, in French, to a French-speaking Moroccan woman. She, in turn, was not familiar with the customs and significance of the Christian Holiday. As the explanation went on, she became increasingly confused and appalled. Apparently, the class, hampered by a meager French vocabulary, told her that Our Lord was fixed with a couple of sticks on a particularly foul smelling hill, then was cut up and reheated when the rabbit comes. Or something like that.

The layered cultural traditions of religious practice, however, are easy to explain as compared to the basic tenants. For example - no one has ever been able to explain to me what it means to “submit to God’s will”. I hear this idea expressed frequently. Someone will say, “I had a problem, but then I just gave that problem to God.”

Say what!? Does that mean I can give my tax forms to God? Does the church have to give itself it’s problems? (That explains a great deal.) No wonder God has so many problems. And you would think that, being God, he would just say “no thanks” when someone tries to give him another pedophile. “The ways of God are mysterious.” Shhhh-yeah!

It’s not that I’m trying to be irreverent.

OK, that’s not true. But irreverent-ha-ha, not irreverent-send-missionaries. I am genuine when I say that this idea is hard for me to understand. God doesn’t want us to simply give up when we have problems. I mean, I thought that was what that other guy wants.

(You know - the other guy - with the horns - the horns that jiggled in horrific slooow motion - while he was charging Tom Cruise - in that awful movie. May He Who Made Me Watch That Movie make good on his promise that if it sucked Monkeys Would Fly Out of His Butt! I mean it.)

There is even that saying about how God helps those who help themselves (to your pension).

However, I have now figured out what it means to “submit to God’s will” from within my little logic-o-centric corner of reality.

Not only that, I’ve actually done it!

Aren’t you all excited, I know. I can explain, but because of my limited spiritual vocabulary, I need, first, to be allowed a different word for God. Or maybe just a slightly different concept than the externalized, anthropormorphic representation of God foisted on me by my early childhood obsession with Michaelangelo.

(Shared interests, who knew?)

If, in order to submit to God’s will, we must first be able to perceive it, let’s imagine that God’s will is something that resides in each of us, inherent to our natures. That isn’t too much of a stretch - I mean, God is supposed to be everything and everywhere, right? Except that and there - that’s disgusting - focus you miscreants!

I guess this is pretty similar to C.S.Lewis’ idea of human nature - he believed that there is something inherent in each of us by which we all recognize right and wrong, independent of culture or rearing. In this case, however, I think “God’s will” would be that little voice (or maybe all your friends and family) telling you to do something that you know you should do but that you just don’t want to do. Or you think you can’t do. Or you have some lame reason for not doing now. Or you are just really hoping you won’t have to do.

People say that God wants us to be happy. (Maybe so - and if so we must really be boneheads because we are messing up even God’s plans to make us happy.) The concept is shared by all revealed traditions - that I know of, at least - that to attain the enlightenment, peace, and profound happiness that God wants for us we need only to submit to God’s will.

By my calculations then, if I just did all the stuff I already know I should do but just don’t really want to do, I’d be totally happy.

Of course, this is GOD’S will, and so there is a bit more to it than just eating right and not dropping the F-bomb in front of my in-laws. I mean stuff I REALLY don’t want to do. Like keeping my temper all the time. no. matter. what. Forgiving people who have done horrible things to me. Doing what I know is best for me even when I don’t want to because I’m afraid it will break my heart.

Maybe happiness isn’t worth it. I mean, that’s not just keeping God’s recommendations in mind. That’s not even being humble. That is to Submit with a capital S. For sucks.

Last week I told my mom that I was going to knuckle under. I told her that even though I knew I had to do this one very difficult thing, I had literally gotten down on my knees and sobbed when I finally decided that I would. I did not want to give in. I had tried so hard. Why couldn’t I just have this one thing I really, really wanted and then I could be happy. I said maybe this is what it means to submit and be humble. My mom, who is not a religious person, told me that I didn’t need to submit - I could exalt in doing what I knew I had to do.

And you know what? She was right. And I am much happier than I was.

Is it wrong to hate it when she’s right?