viragette

The letter from God that still hasn’t been forwarded to my new address:

Dear Dr. Viragette,

I would like to apologize for pranking you every God-damned time you try to get prints made at American MegaUniversity Reprographics. No, they don’t lose everyone’s order every single time, that only happens to you. And I know you’re not doing anything wrong. Christ, you even baked the IT-challenged nitwits cookies the last time (Man, that cracked me up!). After they had screwed up your order AGAIN, and then you had to beg them to rush the job so that the Editor wouldn’t bump you to the next issue - the issue that was not coming out at the Big Annual Meeting. You have been the very soul of patience with those mild-mannered, but apparently wholly incompetent, disgruntled government employees. Anyway, sorry. Although, I would like to remind you that I could have given you your father’s shoe size, but instead I arranged it so you would marry a gorgeous and completely deranged doctor.  Hmmm… well, I still maintain I’ve been more than fair.  But yeah, you’re probably due for a bit of good fortune here pretty soon.

That is all,
God