viragette

A very lovely woman recently mentioned to me that if she sees the face of Britney Spears one more time, she will puke. I can only sympathize with anyone so afflicted. But, I must object. In my opinion, to allow Mrs. Spears to leave the public eye would be a terrible disservice to our nation. Allow me to explain. It seems that the position of blond, virginal-yet-sexually-brazen young woman must always be filled. This is something we must accept. I think, however, that changing the actual “girl” in question too often only encourages the practice. Let us demand some respect for Mrs. Spears! She has worked hard on her abs and I believe she deserves some job stability. It is my greatest wish for her to remain on her throne, crowned princess of the ingenues, dying her hair blond, pouting and claiming to be a virgin until she is at least 65 years of age. I do not care if she has had 12 children and weighs 200 pounds. What I want is for her to never, ever admit to knowing a man in any sense but in teasing him to the point of madness. Because for heavens sake someone has to do it, and I’ll have to shoot myself if I get the short straw next time.